In the aftermath of another election night, I am reminded yet again of why I put my faith in God and not in politics. Like everyone else, I certainly have my views and opinions about legislation, culture wars, identity politics, and all the rest of the hot button issues that have led to so much division and name calling, but I also hold the lessons I learned from my divorce close to heart and this has shaped my view on politics.

As I write this blog, my heart grieves. My sister has lost a husband and our whole family has lost our rock. Matt was taken from us in a tragic car accident just a few short days ago.

One of the greatest spiritual challenges of our lives is to find a way to age gracefully. What does aging gracefully even mean? In my younger days, I thought the term referred to a willingness to accept graying hair, finding and making peace with our aging bodes and accepting our growing limitations. But aging gracefully is much more than an acceptance of our physical reality.

I am the first to admit, when tragedy strikes, the journey through that tunnel of suffering is straight out awful. I have only compassion and care for other women and men going through the tunnel I traveled through, but my hope for you is to remember that suffering is not without purpose.

“Those of us who are single are not exactly the walking dead but we are certainly made to feel like the walking incomplete. When I was still reeling from my separation from my husband, I remember feeling rather bitter and cynical as I looked at happy couples. “

I have tossed what is sacred and holy to those who will neither value or understand its worth. I sought approval from those who were firmly centered in worldly values rather than God and found myself disappointed when they did not recognize my spiritual offerings. When you toss what is sacred to people who do not value it, you are often left angry and bitter.

When my ex-husband first dropped the bombshell that he was having an affair, I was in shock. After a few hours of processing the information in a state of disbelief, I started shaking. I was confused. My mind seemed fully intact, but my body seemed to have a mind of its own. I was lightheaded. I needed to lie down, but then I was hit with nausea. I ran to the bathroom and knelt at the foot of the toilet bowl gripping its sides. I vomited over and over again till there was nothing left to expunge.

On a daily basis my patience was tested and I found showing grace to others increasingly difficult because of the weight of stress and responsibility. I was overwhelmed.

For many of us, looking into the past may be difficult, like walking through a graveyard of broken relationships and missed opportunities.

A marriage can certainly be saved, but you can never return to the relationship of the past. This is a difficult reality that every woman must learn to accept whether or not her marriage survives.

We have a short period of beauty and youth, some of us anyway, and then an agonizing slow decline towards death and despair. God, why did you sign me up for this? Is this really what life is?

When that can of worms is really a priceless treasure.

My unhappiness was the result not only of my husband’s actions, but my own inaction. I had spent my marriage hiding from the truth.

In a marriage, the pathway to infidelity is really a gateway to more secrets and more lies. Whether you’re the cheater or the injured party, both spouses enter a world where it feels necessary to lie and prevaricate at every turn. I became a liar because I didn’t want people to know the truth about my marriage.

There is nothing empowering about seeing yourself as a victim. This is not the story of your life. It is not honest and it is not true. This narrative will eat you for breakfast and spit out your bones as it leads you down the path of sin and misery.

Joy does not come to people who live their lives bracing for the next disaster. We have to plan and make room for joy, but many of us secretly believe a joyful life is simply asking for too much. We dare not prepare for joy, because we don’t believe we are worthy of it.

How tempting it was to ignore what was really broken to pretend that my life, my house was okay and that nothing was wrong.

The holidays are difficult for those of us adjusting to the single life after years of marriage.

I care too much what people think and this is an attitude I need to release in order to make spiritual progress in my life. Why am I so afraid of being vulnerable?

I am living my best life now because I was forced off my intended path. Praise God for that.