Tossing Your Pearls
When I was in high school, my parents gave me a strand of pearls. They were perfectly rounded, natural gems that shone in the light. I wore them on my wedding day and for other special occasions. Every time I put them on I received compliments. People recognized they were special, an object of great beauty, one might even say sacred. The pearls were an expression of my parents’ love for me, a reminder that I was special, loved, and cherished.
Pearls are significant in the Bible. Jesus told a parable of a merchant who sold all he had to obtain the pearl of great price (Matthew 13:45-46). Imagine an item so valuable and precious that you would sacrifice all you owned to possess it. The parable reminds me of yet another parable. Jesus left ninety-nine sheep to search for the one that was lost (Luke 15:1-7). The story illustrates the shepherd’s great love to find us because every one of us is treasured and valued by our creator. We are His children, made in His image. We tend to be skeptical of God’s assurances that we are more valuable than many sparrows. Our self-doubt can also hurt our relationship with God. We listen to the negative voice that tells us we’re not measuring up as we compare ourselves to others rather than listening to the affirmations that come from God. “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future” (Jeremiah 29:11). Scripture is full of God’s declaration of his love for us and his promise that His grace is sufficient. God sees us and loves us for who we are. Why do we find it so hard to believe? Why do we so often self-sabotage?
“Do not give dogs what is sacred; do no throw your pearls to pigs. If you do, they may trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you to pieces” (Matthew 7:6). This verse used to trouble me. I couldn’t imagine the sweet and benevolent Jesus I knew from Sunday School calling people dogs and pigs. The harsh words did not seem consistent with His perfect nature. Now, I look at this verse with new eyes. Dogs and pigs are not bad or evil per se, but they are dirty animals living in a state of survival. They know little but pain and pleasure. God has made us holy and clean through our relationship with Christ. We have been elevated beyond the animal state, but we can easily toss away what is sacred to roll around in the dirt if we are not thoughtful. When I look at my life, I don’t always see the sacred. Even as an out of the closet Christian, I don’t always truly believe that He has made me holy or that the spirit of God lives inside of me? Perhaps like me you sometimes wonder, How could God possibly use me to accomplish great feats for the kingdom of God?
When Jesus tells us not to give what is sacred to dogs or throw our pearls before swine, we are reminded that God has set us on a spiritual path beyond our animal instincts. We are called to share the sacred gospel with others, but we cannot control how they will receive the message. As much as we may want someone to know the love of Christ as we do, we cannot force our will to be done. When it comes to other people and their connection to God, we can only lean into God and trust that He is working in that person’s life in hidden and mysterious ways that we may not be able to see. This can apply to our personal relationships as well. We may offer our best gifts: friendship, love, intimacy, and wise counsel to others, but we cannot force even the ones we love to accept our offerings. In those moments when even our best gifts are rejected, God may whisper in our ear that it’s time to walk away and we must have the courage to do as He asks. We must entrust the person we are in relationship with to God and realize that if we stay, we will be trampled and devoured.
I am a survivor of both infidelity and divorce. I am not unusual. Those of us who have lived any length of time in this world are survivors of grief, trauma, and despair. In my moments of struggle, I have always looked toward scripture for counsel. However, when I’m busy listening to the voice of doubt in my head, focusing on how others view me, rather than reading scripture through the lens of the Holy Spirit, I can fall off course. I can plow forward in a direction that makes me more vulnerable to sin, a path that leads toward self-hatred rather than the love of God. I am prone to tossing my pearls, so to speak. I have tossed what is sacred and holy to those who will neither value or understand its worth. Instead of finding my value in my identity as a child of God, I’ve found myself disappointed when worldly people failed to recognize the value of my spiritual offerings. Because I worship a crucified Christ I believed that if I was suffering, I must be doing the holy work of the Lord. In order to heal from my divorce, I had to walk away from the idea that God wanted me to suffer or the belief that suffering in itself was a virtue. This is dangerous thinking that often convinces Christian women and men that they should remain in abusive situations. We are pearls of great price in God’s eyes and our father wishes to prosper us, not hurt us. Although suffering is certainly a part of the sinful world, it is not God’s intent for us. This is not scriptural.
After thirty years, my strand of pearls still lie in their velvet case. I hope to pass them on someday to a future daughter in law or grand daughter who will appreciate their value. I cannot imagine tossing them before pigs or throwing them in the mud. We are all like treasured pearls in the mind of God. Would our heavenly father throw us before pigs or dogs to be trampled or consumed? I am a child of God, but I have treated myself and allowed others to treat me like nothing. I have forgotten to find my identity in Christ and this has led me down the path of heartache. Life for most of us has periods of difficulty and challenge. I have not always felt beautiful and cherished like the pearls around my neck, but I know God does see me as infinitely more valuable than even the most precious strand of pearls.
