Don’t Waste A Second Chance

As I gracefully mature ( lol ), I realize that the one constant in life is change. I am currently living through an intense period of transition. I am a single woman in my mid-forties. This was not the future I imagined for myself even a few years ago when I celebrated my 17th wedding anniversary, yet here I am. The events that brought me here cannot be sugar coated. An act of betrayal reshaped my entire world and my personal identity. I would not wish such circumstances on my worst enemy. But I survived and I feel deeply grateful for the life I’m living. This frightening new path has led me on a road of discovery, excitement, and personal/spiritual growth. I am living my best life now because I was forced off my intended path. Praise God for that.

Joseph of the Old Testament learned this lesson on a much grander scale. He was betrayed by his own brothers and sold into slavery, but his faithfulness to God in the midst of seismic and often horrific circumstances transformed his life into one of meaning and purpose. He rose to positions of responsibility in the Egyptian world even after another devastating setback when he was falsely accused of sexually assaulting his master’s wife. Despite unbelievable challenges, God led Joseph to a meeting before Pharaoh. Joseph under God’s guidance interpreted his dreams with prophetic wisdom. Pharaoh was so impressed with his godly counsel that he made him second in command of all of Egypt. I am no Joseph, but like Joseph I can see the fingerprints of God in my life. In retrospect I can trace how God has directed my path toward a more joyful and meaningful future.

Not so long ago, when my emotions were consumed by the loss of my husband and marriage, I thought I would never recover. I saw a future of despair and profound loss, but I was wrong. With God leading my life, I discovered I was strong. I learned I could transform loss into art. I could help others with similar burdens. I could make beauty from the ashes and find healing. I found a second chance. In reality, I’m probably on my 72nd chance or something closer to that, but the point is I’m not really the same person I was even a few years ago. I am continually given opportunities to spiritually invigorate my life. As I’ve mourned the loss of what I once had, I’ve also come to terms with what was lacking in my life before the seismic shift of infidelity and divorce. I wasn't really the happy go lucky person I pretended to be. There was a deep sadness inside of me that was too frightening to deal with honestly. Sometimes the dependence we have on others may in fact keep us from true dependence on God. We may find ourselves hostage to people in our lives who are not able to fully love us or want what’s best for us.

The love of God far surpasses human love, because the God of the Bible really does want the best for us and this is just one of the reasons the Gospel story of Jesus’ love and sacrifice for mankind has such power. We mistakenly look for godly love from human partners and we will never find what we are looking for. We are too flawed and imperfect for that. I am able to find joy because I’m experiencing an incredible freedom centered on God rather than on the whims of human beings. I certainly have not given up on human relationships, but I know now the priority: God first; marriage, children, friends…second.

Change can seem like our worst nightmare, but we actually need challenges to keep growing and to reach our full potential. God doesn’t want us living half of a life. I don’t want to be misunderstood as saying I’m grateful for my divorce. I’m not grateful for the pain or bad behavior that was brought to light, but I am grateful for the newfound freedom I have found and the ability to control and shape my own circumstances. I have been freed from the heavy burden of constantly trying please another human being, a burden I mistakenly placed on myself. Now, I need only to please God who is always rooting for my success. I feel like I am able to breathe for the first time.

True healing from loss and disappointment begins with the act of being grateful for what we have. Surprisingly, finding a heart of gratefulness is not as hard as one might think. Every day we have the opportunity to meet with God in prayer and to sift through our countless blessings: the people who have done so much to love us and make us feel loved, the circumstances that have allowed us to grow and feel a sense of accomplishment and purpose. Each day when the sun rises, we have the opportunity to make life better for someone else in addition to ourselves. As Thanksgiving approaches, what a perfect time to deeply reflect on the blessings we have, the opportunities life offers. Do I have everything I want? Absolutely not! But, I have all I need and then some. The door God has opened for me is one where I must learn to live in faith, in anticipation of the good things that will come, to trust in God’s provision for me on a daily basis. I’m beginning to believe that living in hope and anticipation of God’s goodness is the closest we come on this earth to finding true contentment.

I wrote this song as a reminder to myself that I have a second chance. As long as we’re breathing, we all do.

God of Second Chances

I see the sun set in in the sky

and the darkness in your eyes.

I know the stories almost over

we’re still trying to do it over

All regrets and the mistakes we’ve left behind.

You might think that all is lost.

It’s too late to do it over.

But as long as we’re still breathing

we’ll just have to keep believing in the the light.

Ah ooh, Ah ooh

Chorus: You’re the God of second chances

You’re the King of do it over

Cause you never stop believing

And your love is never leaving

No matter how we always mess it up

Ah ooh, Ah ooh

Bridge: Hold on to the light

Don’t give up this fight.

Feel His power in you

He will make it right

Chorus Repeat