I Don’t Fight For the Mic

The Paradox of Authority

There has been a great deal of research in the professional realm on speaking. Robert Greene, for example, says, “Always say less than necessary.” He suggests that people gain more authority when they say less.

This seems counterintuitive in a world where everyone is fighting for the microphone.

Yet most of us recognize the pitfalls of speaking too freely. We say foolish things. We hurt others. We lose respect by overstaying our welcome. I am a Public Speaking teacher, yet I have never felt like I mastered the art of communication because human dynamics are constantly shifting. The ground beneath us moves, forcing us to second-guess ourselves when we do choose to speak.

Unpacking the "Silent" Church

For women, and especially Christian women, the dynamics are even more complex. Women in churches are often characterized as gossips and schemers, even as men engage in the same behavior. Scripture has sometimes been used to quiet women before they even have a chance to speak. Verses like 1 Corinthians 14:34 have been cited as justification. “Women should remain silent in the churches. They are not allowed to speak, but must be in submission…”

Although Paul also spoke about women covering their heads and not braiding their hair, it is this verse that has often been weaponized to silence women.

Some biblical scholars interpret these passages without considering the cultural context of Paul’s Corinthian community, where women were not given theological education. The Corinthian church was turbulent and chaotic. False doctrines spread. Services were disrupted. Paul was addressing disorder, not establishing permanent intellectual inferiority.

Some churches have treated the silence of women as a universal and timeless command. In a modern world where women are often more formally educated than men, this interpretation creates tension. How can we preach a gospel of freedom while suggesting women are unfit to participate intellectually? Was it not Paul himself who said, “There is neither male nor female in Christ Jesus”?

Despite my belief that Paul supported women, I had not considered another possibility, until recently. Perhaps the instruction to say less was not about silencing women, but about empowering them.

In my own workplace and church environments, I have noticed something surprising. The people who speak the most rarely earn the most respect.

Jesus himself warned about excessive speech. “And when you pray, do not keep on babbling like pagans, for they think they will be heard because of their many words.” He calls out those who use words to impress, control, or manipulate. It is not a good look.

Language is our vehicle for truth, but it is also our most effective tool for hiding it. Shakespeare captured this paradox well: “Thou dost protest too much.” Excessive words often signal insecurity rather than conviction.

Christian teaching is not about gaining power over others, but power over ourselves. There are times when communities must correct behavior or protect vulnerable voices. But ultimately, faith calls us inward. It calls us to govern ourselves.

The Freedom of Letting Go

I no longer have to fight for the microphone.

As I enter this stage of my life, I have many things to say. But not everything I want to say needs to be said.

This has been a season of bringing my concerns to God in prayer. Strangely, the more restraint I practice, the less urgency I feel to speak.

Giving up our voice can feel like death. In many ways, it is. It is the dying of the self.

Yet scripture teaches that what feels like death is often life. “For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will find it.”

Loss is often the doorway to freedom.

“If anyone will not welcome you or listen to your words, leave that home or town and shake the dust off your feet.”

There is humility in accepting what we cannot control. But I can govern my own life. I can govern my own voice.

And when I am called to speak, I will speak in grace and truth.

If my voice is not welcomed, I am free to move on to the next house.

Have you ever felt the pressure to 'fight for the mic' to prove your worth? How did it feel when you finally let it go?

Debby Handman is a teacher and author who explores the delicate intersection of voice, faith, and human dynamics. Having spent years helping others find their literal voice in the classroom, her writing now focuses on the spiritual power of restraint and the courage to "speak in grace and truth." Her latest novel, The Gambler’s Wife, is available now and explores deep themes of risk, restoration, and the quiet strength of the human spirit.